Little or No Makeup

Today, for reasons too convoluted to go into here, I am having my photo taken as preparation for a portrait. I am ashamed to say that my main response to this is discomfort at being asked to wear “little or no makeup” in preparation. It has made me realise how much I rely on my mask.

It’s not that I’m generally caked in the stuff, you understand. To the man on the Clapham omnibus, it probably looks like I’m wearing eyeliner and mascara, nothing else. But it’s quite startling the difference that it makes to me – I have already been asked three times if I’m ill, and it’s only 10.19am. I often say jokingly that if your mother thinks you look better with makeup, you definitely look better with makeup – mine does…..

My first thought was “How much can I get away with under the banner of little or no?” That seemed like cheating to me. So I thought I’d just try to do what I needed to not feel too self-conscious.

So the sum total this morning is: stuff that smooths your skin out (Idealist): a little bit of powder: a little bit of skin-coloured eyeshadow (to stop the mascara smudging and giving the game away): two microscopically thin coats of mascara, combed out very thoroughly: a small amount of very sheer lipstick. Which will be eaten off and reapplied several times.

To me, I look like shit. Actually, I look like a plain, frowny, middle-aged woman whose skin, let’s face it, is a lot more blotchy and tired than I care to admit. Considering that I feel enormously flattered to be asked to be painted, this isn’t a good start. And I’m not sure it even qualifies as little or no.