Sign language

I've always loved defacements of posters and official notices, provided they have an element of wit (there's something rather creepy about the habit of sticking chewing gum over the eyes of poster models on the Tube escalators - modern iconoclasm?).

Example: The lifts at Earl's Court have a sign saying "Obstructing the doors causes delay and may be dangerous". For as long as I can remember (and I've been living near there for 11 years), they have been regularly altered to read "Obstruct the doors, cause delay and be dangerous". This makes me smile every time I see it.

Similarly, a poster warning about abandoned luggage ("there's two choices for what you can do about it") with a picture of a dangerous-looking rucksack, has been amended to add the helpful advice "Kick it". Now that I am a sensible, responsible member of society, with a job and all that, I like to see other people keeping the 14-year-old flag flying.

But then, how to account for the very official signs on the bollards by Leicester Square, which say solemnly "NO DIGGING", with a phone number? Anyone who is contemplating digging them up is either a) in a JCB and not likely to be reading notices pinned to the bollards themselves, or b) too drunk to read, or care.